How to keep up the momentum

First, it's good to see you now have your own thread, Mayken!

I'm with Amy in being surprised you're feeling frustrated and like you aren't doing enough. I've always thought you do so much!! Reading everything you listed that you and your daughter do, if that isn't enough, I'm in trouble. I think you're being too hard on yourself.

I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated at the moment. I've been there, more than I'd like. But finding time for yourself isn't being selfish, it's being human. I think your daughter would rather have a happy and healthy mom than extra ml exposure and a cranky, exhausted mom. I also think it's more important for her well-being, so you aren't just doing this for yourself. But even if you were, so what? We need our space and time too. We may be parents, but we're also people, with wants and needs. I say all this very convincingly, but I suffer from the same unwarranted guilt. Chin up and cheer up, Mayken, you're an amazing mom who's, truly, doing a whole lot!!

Here's what I think is fantastic: your daughter has always spoken to you in the ml, you have family in ml country, you spend time there at least once or twice a year, she reads every day, she has plenty of resources in the ml, she's fluent in the ml, and her teachers think she's doing great.

Sure, you can't send her there by herself, but she gets to spend time there with family and friends. Yes, she still makes mistakes in the ml, but won't she correct them with time? And your commute is long, but you get to send her to a bilingual school in return, which I believe more than makes up for it.

I know the feeling of everyone around you telling you how great things are going while you feel things aren't going all that well. It comes with being a perfectionist, doesn't it? Here's my 2 cents:

- Think of all the things you're already doing. You're a very committed mom, don't underestimate yourself.

- If you feel you need to do more, go for it, but don't give up your personal time; that's a necessity, not a luxury.

- Take it slow. One change takes a lot of time. We live busy lives and adding anything to our already crammed schedule is no easy task.

- Make a list of what you can and want to change, and see how it can be done, one thing at a time.

- Something more specific: maybe start small on your daughter's attending a camp. You can either take her to a 1-day ML camp while you're home, or to a 1-day ml camp when you're in ml country. This way, if she doesn't like it, you're there and she doesn't have to go back. My daughter will be going to a day camp for 2 days in ml country this summer and I'm nervous about it too!!

Mayken I also think you're being too hard on yourself and I also think you're doing a great job raising your daughter bilingual, but I can also understand your concerns and frustrations since I also have similar feelings. All my three kids are strong in the ml, but I feel there is more I should do and I also feel there are a lot of ideas our there I should implement but somehow I don't manage it. I loved Amy's and Raquel's suggestions; I myself am looking into how to tackle my feeling that I should be doing more and I found them also useful for me.

For the camps in ml, I think that in a couple of years, once she is a little older, it will become easier. Other ideas: Maybe having your cousin's daughter over for a few days? Or when you take a vacation that's not in Germany look for a hotel with lots of German guests? We have been in holidays in Spain, where we booked the hotel here in Germany through a German travel agency, and we were almost the only Spanish speaking guests in the hotel. With a setting like that, your daughter could join activities in German with the other German kids even though you're not in Germany.

It looks like your new thread is already making a difference, Mayken; you and your husband are coming up with great ideas and getting your daughter interested in reading ml books.

Argh! I just got the holiday activity calendar from my ml family's hometown and there's a Harry Potter half-day camp near my mom's exactly the week we're there, but even at half-days, it would take up too much time. If we went for two weeks, I wouldn't hesitate.

Upside: The holiday activity calendar reminded me of its existence, so maybe next year she could go and stay without me for a week and attend those kinds of activities--I'd organise it beforehand and my mom (if her health keeps stable till then) would only have to drop her off and pick her up.

In other news, my daughter wrote her birthday wish list last night. While I can't make her write a fair copy like her letter to Santa (and I guess last year's was the last time she wrote to him), it got her to write in ml, and there were several very specific ml books at the top of her list (Harry Potter 3, notably). I'll add a few of my own choices that I think she'll enjoy. And I already got the seal and wax she asked for last month (when she saw mine) that she forgot to list. It will make letter-writing even more exciting.

Wow Mayken that sounds fabulous! Enjoy your ml day!

Sounds like a great day, Mayken!! ml activities and goodies. But I think the best part was your conversation with the ml section head teacher; what great news!!

C1 as in the European Language Framework? I always thought native was more of a C2 level or a higher level than C2. Either way, it's a pretty good level! I think many universities only ask for a B2 level, so C1 is fantastic!!