Struggling with activating passive ml
Feb 1, 2017 5:53:45 GMT 9
Post by Sarah on Feb 1, 2017 5:53:45 GMT 9
Hi everyone,
I've been following the blog for a few years and have had some success and disappointments in our bilingual journey. I'm confused at how to move forward in our journey as things have not gone as I had planned.
Some background information - I have two kids, an almost 6-year-old girl and an almost 3-year-old boy. We live in the US so the majority language is English. Our minority language is Urdu. I myself was raised in Canada so while I am fluent in Urdu, I'm not as comfortable in it and in times of stress I switch back to English. Growing up I refused to speak Urdu (I didn't want to be different), but my parents always spoke to me in Urdu (their native language), so although it was passive for most of my childhood, when I was in my late teens, I began speaking it more.
When my daughter was born, I spoke to her only in Urdu. My husband (though a native Urdu speaker) was resistant and spoke to her in English. We also spoke to each other in English. Unfortunately at the time no matter how much I explained it to him, he didn't understand the importance of surrounding her with the minority language - he realizes our mistake now, but is much more carefree about it. As she started preschool (and began watching TV and having playdates), she began speaking English. She is very verbal, but only in English. I still speak with her in Urdu and she can understand everything I say, but will only reply in English. I'm hopeful that as long as she has a passive knowledge, perhaps as she grows it can become active, but I am nervous about her accent (I had a strong one initially and it made me very self-conscious and discouraged me from speaking in the minority language). My daughter is open to speaking in Urdu, but it's like she doesn't even know how to start. I spend most of the time translating what she says in English into Urdu for her, and she then just repeats it. When she tries to say something in Urdu, she can only remember how to say maybe one word of it in Urdu. (For example, if she is trying to say her brother fell down and bumped his head, her 'attempt in Urdu' is "Brother bumped his sar [head in Urdu] and fell down".
My question is, since she is almost 6, I feel like the time where she would learn both languages at the same time naturally is over, and am thinking that I should treat our journey in Urdu as a second/sequential language. Given that even though she is willing, she has a lot of trouble figuring out how to say much in Urdu, I'm wondering if I should turn it into something more formal (introduce vocabulary, grammar, etc) as I would if I was teaching a new language such as French at this stage, or if I should continue to leave it informal - just speaking with her, reading books, etc as I'm doing with my almost 3 year old? She does have the passive knowledge so I'm not sure if I would take the approach I would with a sequential language or not. Or perhaps do both?
I know our biggest problem is the 'need' aspect. She knows that all her grandparents know English (they tried to pretend they didn't but since some of her cousins don't understand Urdu well, she heard the grandparents speaking in English), we have no means to visit an Urdu-speaking country (for safety reasons) and there are no Urdu-language classes where we live. When her baby brother was born, I told her that babies only know Urdu, so for a few years the little she spoke to him, she tried to say in Urdu, but as he gets older, she sees he understands English as well. I'm not ready to give up on the goal of having my kids be able to speak fluently in Urdu (eventually) as I know it'll make their life easier (being able to speak with relatives and family friends), but I know that I'm missing aspects of need and exposure.
I get very frustrated knowing it's all up to me. Even basics like reading to them in Urdu is difficult because I read at a kindergarten level (I taught myself) and they get bored with the stories because I am reading them so slowly. I'm scrambling to try to teach the ml and I feel like its starting to affect our relationship, especially with my daughter. I know I need to calm down about it, but the more she struggles to speak in Urdu, the more worried I get that I need to change things and fast. Help!
I've been following the blog for a few years and have had some success and disappointments in our bilingual journey. I'm confused at how to move forward in our journey as things have not gone as I had planned.
Some background information - I have two kids, an almost 6-year-old girl and an almost 3-year-old boy. We live in the US so the majority language is English. Our minority language is Urdu. I myself was raised in Canada so while I am fluent in Urdu, I'm not as comfortable in it and in times of stress I switch back to English. Growing up I refused to speak Urdu (I didn't want to be different), but my parents always spoke to me in Urdu (their native language), so although it was passive for most of my childhood, when I was in my late teens, I began speaking it more.
When my daughter was born, I spoke to her only in Urdu. My husband (though a native Urdu speaker) was resistant and spoke to her in English. We also spoke to each other in English. Unfortunately at the time no matter how much I explained it to him, he didn't understand the importance of surrounding her with the minority language - he realizes our mistake now, but is much more carefree about it. As she started preschool (and began watching TV and having playdates), she began speaking English. She is very verbal, but only in English. I still speak with her in Urdu and she can understand everything I say, but will only reply in English. I'm hopeful that as long as she has a passive knowledge, perhaps as she grows it can become active, but I am nervous about her accent (I had a strong one initially and it made me very self-conscious and discouraged me from speaking in the minority language). My daughter is open to speaking in Urdu, but it's like she doesn't even know how to start. I spend most of the time translating what she says in English into Urdu for her, and she then just repeats it. When she tries to say something in Urdu, she can only remember how to say maybe one word of it in Urdu. (For example, if she is trying to say her brother fell down and bumped his head, her 'attempt in Urdu' is "Brother bumped his sar [head in Urdu] and fell down".
My question is, since she is almost 6, I feel like the time where she would learn both languages at the same time naturally is over, and am thinking that I should treat our journey in Urdu as a second/sequential language. Given that even though she is willing, she has a lot of trouble figuring out how to say much in Urdu, I'm wondering if I should turn it into something more formal (introduce vocabulary, grammar, etc) as I would if I was teaching a new language such as French at this stage, or if I should continue to leave it informal - just speaking with her, reading books, etc as I'm doing with my almost 3 year old? She does have the passive knowledge so I'm not sure if I would take the approach I would with a sequential language or not. Or perhaps do both?
I know our biggest problem is the 'need' aspect. She knows that all her grandparents know English (they tried to pretend they didn't but since some of her cousins don't understand Urdu well, she heard the grandparents speaking in English), we have no means to visit an Urdu-speaking country (for safety reasons) and there are no Urdu-language classes where we live. When her baby brother was born, I told her that babies only know Urdu, so for a few years the little she spoke to him, she tried to say in Urdu, but as he gets older, she sees he understands English as well. I'm not ready to give up on the goal of having my kids be able to speak fluently in Urdu (eventually) as I know it'll make their life easier (being able to speak with relatives and family friends), but I know that I'm missing aspects of need and exposure.
I get very frustrated knowing it's all up to me. Even basics like reading to them in Urdu is difficult because I read at a kindergarten level (I taught myself) and they get bored with the stories because I am reading them so slowly. I'm scrambling to try to teach the ml and I feel like its starting to affect our relationship, especially with my daughter. I know I need to calm down about it, but the more she struggles to speak in Urdu, the more worried I get that I need to change things and fast. Help!
