Persistence pays off!

Time and again, I have been told to be patient and wait for things to happen while I continue to put efforts in the background.

It's been a long time since I came here, but I have seriously been working at it since July this year. The various suggestions that I received from fellow zookeepers and the founder of the zoo has helped me immensely. Also, one of them reminded me that when things don't happen even after following certain steps, it is better to follow our gut feeling. 

I am so glad to share some updates about my daughter who was so adamant all this time that she would hesitate to speak Japanese, although she had sufficient exposure outside home.

Firstly, I "seriously" took the suggestions made by Adam in several posts that we need to make the situation playful for kids. For example, the Silly Stories and How Hot Is It? game helped to kick-start our journey afresh. 

Then, during the summer holidays, I made sure that my daughter got herself a membership at the local library. Although I wouldn't say that she is consistent in reading books, a bit of prodding does help.

It may sound tedious, but when she reads a particular book in Japanese, I ask her to note down any new words she may come across in a separate book, and use her dictionary to get the meaning. In her case, she can recollect faster if she puts everything in writing. Of course, I am available when she needs me, but she tends to come to me for every minor thing. So, I want her to get out of that habit and start out on her own. She already has plenty of opportunities to talk at school, but I am not sure she makes use of it. Books will get her imagination rolling for sure at some point of time. The more she is exposed to the world of books, I am sure she will appreciate why I have been so particular about reading books. For now, she cribs a lot ! Anyway, I have managed to get it happening! 

And, during the holidays, she started gaining confidence to run a few errands on her own. I insisted that she do it on her own and did not give her a choice. It was a struggle in the beginning, but I used to give her simple tasks like getting her favorite snack. I taught her a few basic sentences (which she already knew, but would never speak). And the first day she completed that task, there was a very big smile on her face, and I even captured that moment in a photo.  Now, I do not have to request her at all. Rather, she tries to create situations to go out on her own!!! 

And, I would say that a big turning point was when I attended the "sankanbi" at her school, once school resumed after summer holidays. "Sankanbi" (visitation day), in short, is where the parents can observe a class in progress on a designated day. As I was preoccupied with my little one earlier, I could not find time to attend in the previous terms. That day, it was a session on "moral science", where the kids have plenty of opportunities to give their opinions. My daughter was the only one who never opened her mouth nor wrote anything on the paper!

Now that she is in grade 3, it will become tough for her in the coming days if she doesn't open up. And her teacher told me in the previous term that she is not able to communicate yet, and has to open up. After we came home that day, I was totally upset as there were many other areas where she was making progress. For example, she appeared for one of the levels in a proficiency exam meant for foreigners in July, and cleared it with a fairly good score! And, in spite of not talking much at school, she loves going to school, because it is not just academics. And her teacher told me that she has a very good sense of music, and although she was scared to swim, she managed to achieve a few meters by the end of the first term. The only silver lining in the cloud was that the teacher was indirectly encouraging me not to give up, and encourage my daughter in the areas where she is good.

Now, I had to change my course of action. I wasn't sure it would work at that time, but finally that has shown results in a way that I least expected. What I did was that I set a time limit for my daughter saying that if she doesn't start speaking by the end of this term, we may have to stop her school, and we can find other alternatives for her at home! And, I told her this, only after I showed her a few instances that I mean what I say, and I won't budge to any of her tantrums. She knew I wasn't joking this time around. 

And what happens? Almost every other day after I attended her classroom session, her teacher sends me messages stating that my daughter talks to her everyday on a random topic during break time. And she has started to show some interest to answer questions posed by the teacher in class. And that's not all! The icing on the cake was yesterday when she came back from school. She tells me that her friends are coming home so that they could do homework together!!! She has never done this ever since we moved here. And to do that, she would have had to speak in Japanese to her friends. I was so surprised that I could not believe what was happening. I was not well yesterday, but when I realized that it's actually happening, I did not wait any longer. Whatever little I could arrange for the kids, I got it done within a few minutes. And the next 1.5 hours was such a delight to watch, and I secretly captured that moment too in my camera.

Coincidentally, this has happened when I was proactively searching for some classes where my daughter could attend exclusively for Japanese conversation. Adam had suggested to get a high school student to play with my daughter regularly. Sadly, that is not happening for me, as the few people whom I have approached always seem to point out that my daughter is already attending a Japanese school, so it is but obvious that there can't be a better environment than that. While I agree to that, my daughter seems to be an exception. Anyhow, that has not put me down to get what I am looking for. I finally located one place last week, and I am yet to get further details. Not sure if it will materialize as we have to consider various factors, but at least I seem to have reached somewhere!!!

And, one more thing my daughter has started since last month is to accompany her dad every month to a place where a few people gather just to converse in English. I also have to make sure that she doesn't forget English in the process. I recently discovered that she forgot how to write a few alphabets in English!!! What seems so obvious to us is not how it happens with kids, I guess. Since one of our objectives is to get her to communicate, we are hoping that we could help to lead by example.

Also, I make sure that my daughter watches a few programs on TV with me. The programs range from foreigners learning Japanese, days in the lives of school kids, and a few motivational topics. One program which I could easily co-relate to my daughter was this one. It was about penguins being raised in an aquarium somewhere in Japan. And there was this little penguin which was so frightened to get along with the others. While it was obvious that penguins would take to water easily, this particular one used to funnily peep out from a fairly good distance away from the pool. And the moment it was taken to water, it would create such a scene that the caretaker could not proceed further. One fine day, this particular penguin did the unexpected by getting inside the pool and started swimming so easily as if it was never scared...! I am not sure what the program was, but I wasted no time to tell her that she is the frightened little penguin who is actually capable of communicating in Japanese with her friends, but she is just a few steps away from coming out of her shell. And I always quote this program every time she makes a fuss, and it actually helps!

And, recently, I got a series of English educational videos for my little one, so that he could get used to listening right from now. And I am amazed how he stops when he hears a few of his favorite tunes! And better late than never, I will be using the same for my daughter as well.  

It's just the beginning of a long trail ahead, and I am glad that she is opening up!! We still have a lot to work on, but now that she is showing interest (finally!), I think it should be fairly easier than before.

I wish to track the progress on this thread whenever I can. Words are just not enough to thank all those who gave their suggestions on this site. I am not taking any names as I do not want to miss out anyone. What I have realized is that there is no particular formula through which our kids can become bilingual/multilingual. I used to stress out when certain ideas weren't working, but when I started to tweak ideas to suit our environment, that's when the magic started to happen. 

Wish me luck!!