Switching language at 4 years old

Hi Roberta!

The "children being like sponges" is one of the widespread myths about bilingualism. The more languages children learn, the more they will need time. We just have to be patient. Today I had the opportunity to hear a ML monolingual 2.5 year old speak and it is true that my trilingual 2 year old does not have the same ML speech flow. But she does use her 3 languages. So she just needs time.  

Bilingualism creating speech delay has never been clearly demonstrated. I think it just depends on the child. Doctors and us parents like to tick little boxes to make ourselves feel better knowing that our child fits into a given pattern. But no 2 kids are the same.

Two years ago, a paediatrician tried to have me quit speaking my ml2 to my eldest daughter (4 years old at the time), which I refused. I held on firm to my belief, had my daughter do 9 months of speech therapy with a session a week and her pronunciation is now fine. My suspicion -and that of the speech therapist- is that the problem was not trilingualism.

In your case, it sounds like your little one might have felt overwhelmed by 2 languages and felt frustrated at not being able to communicate his feelings easily. Now that your child is able to communicate at ease in one language and no longer feels frustrated, it seems indeed like he is ready to renew with your ml.

To rebuild your relationship in Italian, I would suggest a lot of playing in the ml. Having maybe 30 minutes a day playing in Italian, reading simple books, playing a bit of flashcards, watching a bit of Italian nursery rhymes on YouTube (the pictures will help him better grasp the gist of the song), maybe introduce a puppet that only speaks Italian. And introduce your culture into your daily life: let your son see you listening to Italian radio/music and watching Italian telly. Introduce an Italian dimension to your cooking, talk to him about your culture...his (other) culture. Introduce basic Italian words when speaking to him like prego and grazie, and why not give him a little Italian nickname.

As he gets used to having Italian around him again, slowly increase the playing in ml, the amount of ml words you use with him. Teach him through playing.

Hope these thoughts can be of help.

It is easy to have regrets. But don't, you did what felt best for your son.

Trust me, I did not feel comfortable standing up to the pediatricean because there was always that little feeling of doubt that was devouring me on the inside.  


That's exactly what I do with my 2 year old when she speaks in the ML.

It is definitely all about breaking a habit and creating a new one! If that can help, Raquel  managed to break her habit of speaking in the ML by putting up a ml flag in her living room. Works with anything that would remind you of your ml, really!

Good luck! And let us know how it goes, we like to hear about how everyone's journey goes and learn from each other's experience.

Ciao!

Hi Roberta,

I think Amy's suggestions are awesome! Playing in the ml should be your starting plan, also if it is possible to arrange some playdates with other ml kids, that would be a plus. It is important to create opportunities for natural interaction in the ml so that your son feels the need to start using it again. At 4, I would also try watching with him ml TV cartoons. That would create an opportunity for you both to talk about it in the ml.

I have a question: when you stopped using Italian with your son at 2 years old, did you also stop using it with other people around? I ask because if he still heard you using it with other people, I am pretty sure he still remembers and understands Italian quite a bit.

In regards to speech delay and bilingualism, I don't think there is a direct correlation to it. The kids I know who are on speech therapy are monolinguals. I think is just depends on the child.

Good luck, and don't give up! hugs 

Dani