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Amy
Star Keeper

***"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - Oscar Wilde***

Posts: 1,682

Country (residing now): France
Country (originally from): France
Children, Ages: 10 and 6year old girls
Majority Language: French
Minority Language(s): Spanish (ml1) & English (ml2)

El tiempo es ahora Jun 29, 2020 5:13:36 GMT 9

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Post by Amy on Jun 29, 2020 5:13:36 GMT 9

¡Hola Virginia!

We all get frustrated at times, native or non-native parent.

I love Carrie 's way of presenting things: you give them the opportunity to learn Spanish because you are lucky enough to speak Spanish.

Speaking to your youngest daughter in Spanish is a wonderful evolution and I am delighted you moved on to doing it! It is (in my humble opinion) the best decision you could make.

Regarding homework:
- Don't call it homework!!! lol

I have always tricked my eldest by calling them "activities"! lol. And now I trick the little one.

- Use fancy pretty stationary to entice her to use it to do her activities. You'd be surprised how eager they are to use a new set of felt-pens! lol
- If she is used to discovering on her own through Montessori, leave the activities material lying at her disposition. Don't tell her to do it, but let the presence of the material be a subliminal suggestion. I do that with my youngest and it works pretty well: I print loads of different phonics activity sheets and she knows she can select whatever from her activity folder.

- Play pretend school...kids love it!! I get our Ikea chairs and our whiteboard out (a lot of activity or school homework are done using it), I even put posters up (phonics for lil one):

http://instagr.am/p/CAaGBsLH0Cf

http://instagr.am/p/B_9qqBlgKZo

http://instagr.am/p/B_ARY2BKWC3

I wish we had an extra room to make a permanent pretend classroom.

Extra tips I read about in Learn Spanish en Casa (ebook could be very helpful for you: all about Time & Place, recommends resources too) and which I thought might be helpful for you:
- Create a "Spanish space" (why not ask the girls for help or inspiration

? They love being part of a project)
- Here is MamaLlama's daily routine for Spanish time (Time & Place, like you):
1. Story time = 15mins
2. Songs = 10 mins
3. Activity Books = 15mins
4. Screen Time (Spanish Learning Apps or Course) =20mins.

Keep up with your good work and thread. And remember, as Adam Beck says in his book: bilingual education is a marathon, not a sprint. So don't frustrate yourself, take a step at a time and you will get there.

Amy

My guest post at Bilingual Monkeys: bilingualmonkeys.com/bilingual-families-and-limiting-the-influence-of-the-majority-language/

My blog in English: www.ourmlhome.wordpress.com My blog in French: bilingue.home.blog

Amy
Star Keeper

***"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - Oscar Wilde***

Posts: 1,682

Country (residing now): France
Country (originally from): France
Children, Ages: 10 and 6year old girls
Majority Language: French
Minority Language(s): Spanish (ml1) & English (ml2)

El tiempo es ahora Jun 29, 2020 5:18:46 GMT 9

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Post by Amy on Jun 29, 2020 5:18:46 GMT 9

Jun 28, 2020 10:58:30 GMT 9 Marisa said:

Thanks for the encouragement! I do have all those Peppa Pig books that I bought in Spain to teach kids how to read, so this is definitely the boost that I needed to begin using them

Marisa,

I had the privilege to teach my eldest to read and am now doing it with my youngest. It is a wonderful and gratifying experience I can really recommend. And you are very lucky because your ml is spelt the way it sounds! I agree with Carrie : give it a shot

If that can be of any help, this is how it went with my eldest: Getting your child started with reading in the minority language. I suggest you create (or buy if you can find some) your own letter flashcards, my girls both love them very much.

All the best!

Marisa Senior Keeper Posts: 133 Country (residing now): US Country (originally from): Spain Children, Ages: Girl, born in March 2016 Majority Language: English Minority Language(s): Spanish, German, and hopefully French some day!	El tiempo es ahora Jun 29, 2020 5:39:30 GMT 9 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Marisa on Jun 29, 2020 5:39:30 GMT 9 Thank you so much, Amy! The foam letter idea is great!

Adam Beck
Head Keeper

Author of "Maximize Your Child's Bilingual Ability" and "Bilingual Success Stories Around the World"

Posts: 2,176
Country (residing now): Japan
Country (originally from): USA
Children, Ages: Girl, 19 and Boy, 16
Majority Language: Japanese
Minority Language(s): English, Spanish

El tiempo es ahora Jun 29, 2020 11:06:37 GMT 9

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Post by Adam Beck on Jun 29, 2020 11:06:37 GMT 9

Jun 27, 2020 20:23:53 GMT 9 Virginia said:

I went through a mini period of feeling very overwhelmed and frustrated and almost resentful ("just because I was born in Argentina I automatically come into my children's lives with this huge task/expectation to teach them Spanish!"), not very helpful at all. Fortunately it didn't last long and my better, more sensible self took over.

Virginia, as much as we talk about strategies for raising bilingual kids, there's another side to this experience that isn't spoken about as frequently but is at least equally important: the psychological/emotional side. In fact, for many parents, it's this side of the experience that must be addressed right along with the more strategic side.

Intellectually, I think we all understand that language development isn't something that we can really "fail" at because it's not an all-or-nothing proposition. I mean, whether we're talking about children or adults, as long as continuing efforts are made, there will be continuing progress. This is a plain fact. In other words, we cannot fail unless we simply stop trying.

If I could wave a magic wand, I would make a simple wish for every parent: Don't overthink it. Now, of course, thinking on the strategic side, the kind of creative and resourceful thinking that's shared so generously at this forum, is vital and I don't think we can do "too much" of that. However, when it comes to thoughts that arise from the psychological/emotional side of this experience--the frustrations, the doubts, the fears--too much of this thinking can be *very* harmful. In fact, this is the type of thinking that can lead people to stop trying and give up entirely! And the sad irony is, if they would just advance without overthinking it (like a zombie, let's say), they would continue to make progress because, again, as long as you keep going, you cannot *not* make progress!

So when these negative thoughts start to swirl, they're simply a sign that more thinking is needed on the strategic side. Okay, I feel frustrated. Now, what more can I do to address this challenge? Beyond that constructive view, negative thoughts serve no useful purpose and, in fact, any doubts or fears involving "failure" are a destructive lie when the truth is: If you simply persevere, day by day, over the months and years ahead--making your aim merely "ongoing progress"--you are *guaranteed* at least some degree of rewarding long-term success. (And in your case, Virginia, that's true of *both* girls!) While I don't think any of us can predict the actual extent of that eventual success, I bet we do know what the outcome would be if we just slump to the ground early on in this journey and give up with a final, weary sigh.

The Sufi mystic Rumi is quoted as saying: "If all you can do is crawl, start crawling." The point, of course, is that even crawling will move you and your children forward along this long road to success. (Please wear kneepads.) Naturally, stepping--even skipping--is far more fun and productive, but crawling is still enough to keep you going at the toughest times...and from there, crawling can become stepping and stepping may even become skipping.

If wise quotes like this can be encouraging to your journey, I invite you to download the free e-book I put together a few years ago, which focuses on the psychological/emotional side of this experience and features hundreds of empowering quotes...

Instant Inspiration for Parents Raising Bilingual Kids

And if more personal support would be helpful, I also invite you--and any parents out there with the desire--to speak with me directly via Skype or Zoom. I'm now in the happy position of being able to offer personal consultations *at no charge*. For full details on this opportunity, see...

Free Online Consulting for Parents Raising Bilingual Kids

In terms of "Spanish hour" we're in the process of making it more about games and fun, but at the same time I'd like my oldest one to start doing a little homework during the week, so we can focus on reinforcing what she learned during our time together. Now, my oldest is a Montessori child, and the mere mention on the word *homework* makes her little muscles tense up. I know Adam you're big on homework and I remember there was a whole chapter if not more in your book that was dedicated to it, so I'll go and review that in terms of ways to make homework into a healthy (and maybe even enjoyable?) habit.

As others have suggested, this needn't be labeled, or even look like, "homework." The important thing is that you sustain a regular "Spanish Time" that engages your children in a way that's productive (perhaps not productive every day, but on the whole

) and that cultivates positive feelings toward the language.

Bilingual SuperKids: Supercharge the success and joy of your family's bilingual or multilingual journey with powerful private coaching from Adam Beck, author of "Maximize Your Child's Bilingual Ability" and "Bilingual Success Stories Around the World"
bilingualsuperkids.com

Virginia
New Keeper

Posts: 8
Country (residing now): United States
Country (originally from): Argentina
Children, Ages: 2 daughters, ages 7 1/2 and 1 1/2
Majority Language: English
Minority Language(s): Spanish

El tiempo es ahora Jul 20, 2020 0:34:07 GMT 9

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Post by Virginia on Jul 20, 2020 0:34:07 GMT 9

Hi all, another update from New Orleans, things have been okay but not great. It really is very hard for me to keep up with my plan, every time I find myself speaking to my husband in English in front of the girls it feels like a failure, and there are lots of those daily, which just creates this attitude towards speaking and teaching Spanish that draws me away from it. I feel like a child who doesn't want to take her bath or pick up her toys. It's Sunday and I just don't want to do Spanish hour with my girls. They're fine with it, they would enjoy it, it's me who has the issues. It feels like a drag and lately it's like I have to get in the mood to do it, it honestly does not come naturally, it takes conscious effort and for some reason I have this gut feeling of rejection towards the whole enterprise. I'm being totally honest here, I'm sorry I don't have brighter news to share.

I have bought super nice books and have tons of resources that many of you all have generously shared with me on this site, but I lack the energy/motivation to use them. I think Adam was spot on when he referenced the emotional aspect of this journey, that is precisely what I have been struggling with. I have downloaded the pdf with quotes but have not made the time to look at it (another "failure" on my part, this is how this whole project feels). Last week I was going through resources and renewed my determination to teach my girls Spanish, speak only Spanish with my husband, as much Spanish as I can with my little one, but that only lasted a couple of days and now I find myself slipping again. I think the fact that I consider every single "mistake" (when I speak English with my husband, for example) a failure is a big problem, but it's hard for me not to see them as tiny failures when the goal is 100% Spanish with husband. Anyway, I'm not giving up, not at all, but it's been rough and I wanted to keep you all updated. Thank you for all your support.

Stay safe,

Virginia

Amy
Star Keeper

***"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - Oscar Wilde***

Posts: 1,682

Country (residing now): France
Country (originally from): France
Children, Ages: 10 and 6year old girls
Majority Language: French
Minority Language(s): Spanish (ml1) & English (ml2)

El tiempo es ahora Jul 20, 2020 2:34:44 GMT 9

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Post by Amy on Jul 20, 2020 2:34:44 GMT 9

Virginia,

I'm sorry to read your update but let me debunk something: at the beginning it is anything but "natural".

When I began talking to my eldest in English, it felt anything but natural...and I consider English as my other mother-tongue! I was educated in English as a kid, and some things come more naturally to me in English.

Turning our house into a minority language only home is not natural either. It is a constant effort to keep our Majority Language out.

Raising bilingual always involves some share of effort. Over time (and I'm talking in months here), things will get easier, more natural to some extent. You will eventually get into an autopilot mode and won't worry so much about what is natural or not.

As to your "failures" (I'd simply call them slip-ups), how many times did you trip as a toddler before your walked? How many times did you fall? We all "fail" at some point on our bilingual journey. The question is to stand up again and not let that slip-up dishearten you.

Have you considered that suggestion I made to you a while back of putting a ml piggy bank and making your kids (or husband) the language police, having you put a coin in every time you slip? It's a fun way to make you more aware of your language use.

As to the Spanish time, why not ask your husband to help you by taking the lead, to act as a driver and not let you "escape" from the "chore"? Maybe you dread all the organisation it involves, but once in the midst of it your apprehension will wear away and you will enjoy it as much as you did the first time round?

I will leave you with food for thought phrases:

http://instagr.am/p/CCXykTiB7tY

http://instagr.am/p/CCvJq8EhbOG

http://instagr.am/p/B2T9Iqsi1b6

http://instagr.am/p/CCyWOTAq9Oq

We all go through these phases, just keep your chin up and keep crawling (as per Rumi's quote

). We're all cheering you from our side of the globe.

Virginia
New Keeper

Posts: 8
Country (residing now): United States
Country (originally from): Argentina
Children, Ages: 2 daughters, ages 7 1/2 and 1 1/2
Majority Language: English
Minority Language(s): Spanish

El tiempo es ahora Jul 23, 2020 10:23:53 GMT 9

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Post by Virginia on Jul 23, 2020 10:23:53 GMT 9

Thank you, Amy

Just wanted to give an update, it was actually really helpful for me to put down in words what I was feeling the other day, it made me realize that I clearly just needed to give myself a break. So instead of trying to come up with an elaborate and super fun and instructive game for our Spanish hour, I started by just playing them a reading of "Crisantemo" on YouTube (one of y'all recommended that channel to me, thank you!) which, of course, they loved (well, my older one loved, my little one got up and left after 6 minutes, haha), and so that gave me some much-needed momentum and then we played a simple game with colors (veo veo) and then I read them a book. So there, made it through the hour without a problem. For me, anything involving screen time is like crawling (though I'm not as judgmental of others when they use screens, interesting...), but like many of you have said, if all you can do is crawl, then crawl, and little by little you'll be able to get yourself up. Anyway, the black cloud has passed, skies are clear in New Orleans once again. Thanks for tuning in. I shall be back with another update soon.

Stay safe,

Virginia

Adam Beck
Head Keeper

Author of "Maximize Your Child's Bilingual Ability" and "Bilingual Success Stories Around the World"

Posts: 2,176
Country (residing now): Japan
Country (originally from): USA
Children, Ages: Girl, 19 and Boy, 16
Majority Language: Japanese
Minority Language(s): English, Spanish

El tiempo es ahora Jul 23, 2020 11:20:04 GMT 9

Quote

Post by Adam Beck on Jul 23, 2020 11:20:04 GMT 9

Jul 23, 2020 10:23:53 GMT 9 Virginia said:

Thank you, Amy

Virginia, sorry I didn't respond more quickly! But I was certainly thinking of you and about to reply today when I saw your message.

I'm really glad to hear that you're feeling better again, and that writing about your frustrations has helped you move forward. This is indeed one of the benefits of writing about this experience, which is inevitably frustrating for us all in different ways.

Again, the main thing is your commitment for the long term, a written-in-stone vow that you will never give up no matter what. As long as you maintain that simple outlook, feelings of discouragement will never derail your dream. You just have to try again tomorrow.

Which reminds me of these magnificent words from Mary Anne Radmacher...

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, 'I will try again tomorrow.'"

Along with not "overthinking" it, I would also encourage you not to "overdo" it. The plain truth is that you basically "only" need to maintain two key habits:

1. Talk as much as possible to your kids in the minority language.

2. Read aloud as much as possible to your kids in the minority language.

If you "just" do these two things on a daily basis, along with whatever additional efforts are possible given your conditions, your children will make steady progress over time. So don't worry about being a "teacher" with lots of creative "plans"; all that is fine, but it's also enough to simply spend playful time with your kids in your language.

And finally, as I mentioned, you (and any parent out there) are welcome to connect with me personally, anytime, if you'd like to "think out loud" about your bilingual journey and consider ways to strengthen the success and joy that you're experiencing. Personal consultations with me, via Skype or Zoom, are now sponsored by HaBilNet and so are free to any parent. Full details can be found here...

Free Online Consulting for Parents Raising Bilingual Kids

Day by day, Virginia! You can do it!

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